


you're the one who holds the stars

by chapter_61



Series: COC 2019 [16]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), Carry On Countdown 2019, DEC 10 - Re-imagined Scene, Day 16: Re-imagined scene, M/M, the twinkle twinkle little star scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21747241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chapter_61/pseuds/chapter_61
Summary: What if the twinkle twinkle little star moment went on a bit longer?“I feel kind of drunk, though,” Baz says, gripping his other hand.“Drunk on power?” he asks.Then, the weirdest thing happens: Baz starts giggling. “Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing.”Simon can’t stop staring. He has seen Baz smile genuinely a few times before, and sometimes he even heard him laughing with Dev and Niall. But this is different. First of all, it’s Simon. Baz doesn’t let his guard down around him, he never does. The rare times Baz had smiled in his company were always short, and after that Baz would keep his distance. Second, he’s giggling. Baz doesn’t giggle. He’s an evil vampire and a complete git. He doesn’t giggle. Something doesn’t compute in his head.The universe around them is beautiful; a bright night sky, twinkling stars everywhere. But his eyes stay on Baz.“Do you want me to pull back?” he asks, his magic still dripping out of him. It’s really weird, he can feel his own magic inside of Baz. Strangely, it also feels kind of nice.“No,” Baz says. “I want to look at the stars.”
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: COC 2019 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553623
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	you're the one who holds the stars

_What if the twinkle twinkle little star moment went on a bit longer?_

“I feel kind of drunk, though,” Baz says, gripping his other hand.

“Drunk on power?” he asks.

Then, the weirdest thing happens: Baz starts giggling. “Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing.”

Simon can’t stop staring. He has seen Baz smile genuinely a few times before, and sometimes he even heard him laughing with Dev and Niall. But this is different. First of all, it’s Simon. Baz doesn’t let his guard down around him, he never does. The rare times Baz had smiled in his company were always short, and after that Baz would keep his distance. Second, he’s giggling. Baz doesn’t giggle. He’s an evil vampire and a complete git. He doesn’t _giggle_. Something doesn’t compute in his head.

The universe around them is beautiful; a bright night sky, twinkling stars everywhere. But his eyes stay on Baz.

“Do you want me to pull back?” he asks, his magic still dripping out of him. It’s really weird, he can feel his own magic inside of Baz. Strangely, it also feels kind of nice.

“No,” Baz says. “I want to look at the stars.”

He’s not looking at the stars, though. He’s looking at Simon. His expression is open, inviting and honest. Simon doesn’t know what to do. A part of him, the rational part probably, is telling him to pull back. To end this moment between Baz and him, to cut the tension.

But Baz has never looked like this before. Simon wants to stay in this moment, where he feels grounded but floating at the same time. Holding on to Baz’ hands.

“Okay.”

Baz smiles at him again, and it feels... Significant.

He’s not good at reading people, but he’s been Baz’ roommate for more than 7 years. He knows Baz’ expressions. And one might say it’s Simon’s power that’s making him this complete other version of himself, but Simon would disagree. This is not another version of Baz. This is Baz, underneath all those barriers he puts up.

Something in his chest twinges.

“My mother used to sing that song to me.”

“Twinkle twinkle…?” Simon trails off, in case his magic would react.

Baz suddenly sighs and looks back at the stars.

“What?” he asks him.

“I think… my mother would hate me if she saw me like this.”

Simon is shocked for a moment. Baz never talks about his mother unprompted.

“You mean,” he says tentatively, “holding hands with me?”

Baz exhales a laugh and looks back at him with a smile. “No, I don’t think she’d mind that. I mean the vampire thing.”

“Oh.” After years of taunting him, Baz just straight out says it. Simon is starting to think his magic works as some kind of truth serum. Maybe he should pull back. He doesn’t want to invade Baz’ privacy.

“Don’t look at me like that. You’ve known since fifth year.”

“You never confirmed it!”

He rolls his eyes. “Honestly, Simon. This feels nice. I’ve never felt this good near you, we should do this more often.”

Simon shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You just told me you’re a vampire, a secret you’ve been keeping for years!”

“Ha! Wait until you hear my other secrets that I’ve been keeping from you.”

“No!” Simon almost pulls back his magic. “Please don’t say anything you’ll regret. I’m not using my magic to pull the truth out of you.”

“Then what are you using your magic for?” Baz asks, a gleam in his eyes that unsettles Simon. “The least you could do is interrogate me. Now you’re just staring like I’ve grown a second head.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Clearly.”

Baz wasn’t smiling anymore, but he has a mischievous look on his face. It almost feels like Baz is flirting with him. Which would be extremely out of character, right?

“Baz?”

“Simon.”

“You never call me Simon.”

“I wonder why.”

“Me too. Anyway, I just wanted to say… I think your mother is proud of who you’ve become.”

Baz almost pulls back his hands, but Simon holds on. “Listen,” he tells him. “Your mother came here, to see you. She still loves you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

Simon grips his hands tighter. “I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but you need to know that.”

“Why do you care?”

“I care about you, you prat!” He can’t help but shout. The space around them echoes his words in the following silence.

Baz’ eyes are on their hands. “You hate me.”

“ _You_ hate _me_.”

Baz laughs self-deprecatingly. “I wish. I could never hate you.”

Simon’s mind is going 100 miles/hour. He knew Baz wasn’t a bad person, deep inside, but why else would he act like that towards him if he didn’t hate him?

Baz continues, “You should hate me. It’d make this much easier.”

“Make what easier? The war? Our investigation?”

“This,” Baz says, nodding between them.

“Okay,” Simon says, not understanding. But then, he looks at Baz and Baz looks at him, and something passes between them. It sends a shiver down his spine.

Suddenly feeling daring, he shuffles closer to Baz. He’s 99% sure Baz won’t kill him, which are better odds than he’s ever had.

Baz doesn’t comment on Simon coming closer. Now their knees are touching. Baz’ eyes shift down, settling on his naked chest. He feels vulnerable, but not in a bad way.

“I...” He doesn’t know how to phrase this. He doesn’t even know why he’s doing this. He thinks he might be drunk on the feeling of Baz’ hands in his. “Your mother asked me to give you this.”

He leans forward, and Baz’ eyes fly back up. He looks almost panicked, but he doesn’t pull away, which Simon takes as a good sign. When his lips touch Baz’ forehead, his eyes fall shut and he can feel Baz shudder beneath him.

He pulls back after a few seconds and reluctantly opens his eyes again. Baz is looking at him wide-eyed, gripping his hands.

“You...What...” Baz stumbles over his words. It’s kind of adorable.

“Your mother told me to.”

“She wouldn’t… Not unless...”

“Unless what?” He was curious now.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Simon flushes. It wasn’t a _kiss_. That would be different. He’s not… He leaves that train of thought. “I told you, your mother wanted me to.”

“I don’t believe you,” Baz says, softly.

“I just wanted…” He trails off.

“Wanted what?”

Simon shrugs. “Wanted.”

Baz shakes his head. “You can’t want that. This.” He nods between them again like he did earlier.

Simon isn’t sure what’s going on in his own head. Thoughts are swirling around, moments are being reflected on, feelings are being analysed. “I can want whatever the bloody hell I want.”

And that’s it, isn’t it? Baz seems to realise it at the same time. “No, no,” he says. “This isn’t happening, let go of me.”

Baz tugs at his hands, but Simon holds on. “Baz.”

“ _Simon_.”

Baz tugs again, and Simon falls forward. And he can’t help it. He closes the distance between them and kisses Baz.

An excruciating second later, Baz kisses back.

And then Baz pulls back violently, breaking Simon’s hold on his hands. The world shifts around them, and suddenly they’re back in their room, on Baz’ bed. As the last strands of magic disappear in the air, Simon is breathing heavily. He chances a glance at Baz, who looks like he’s about to burst into tears.

It hurts to see him that way and he reaches for Baz again, but before he can grab him, Baz stumbles off the bed and runs for the door.

“Baz!” He shouts after him, to no avail. Baz is already gone.

_Shit_ , he thinks as the realisation sets in. _I just kissed Baz_.


End file.
